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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?